chuck norris creationism


It is not really clear what exactly was before God decided to create the world. We can only say we are lucky that God did decide to take the time to make this whole thing.

The first version God made was a perfect paradise. God loves us and wanted everybody to enjoy absolute knowledge and fulfilment. In this paradise there was no hunger, pain nor fear. Everybody had everything and loved everybody. Humans spoke to God and God spoke back. God was learning from us as much as we learned from God. We were made to be spontaneous and creative, just like God is. God enjoyed watching us and learning from us, because we were like God.

Than Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God in the face and forced God to create a new version of the world in which our lives are based on struggling and suffering. Chuck Norris also insisted on the concept of pain, especially in the face area for all humans, and testicle area for men (Chuck Norris favourite targets).

The effects of the Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick made God deaf to the prayers of us humans. This forever obliterated any further chance of communication between God and us. This is why the Chuck Norris version of the world is defined by loneliness.

This is how Chuck Norris created a perfect world for himself.



by Nikola Tosic